How to Help Children Overcome the Fear of Death

How to Help Children Overcome the Fear of Death Phobias Types Print Helping Your Child With the Fear of Death What Parents Should Know About Thanatophobia By Lisa Fritscher Lisa Fritscher is a freelance writer and editor with a deep interest in phobias and other mental health topics. Learn about our editorial policy Lisa Fritscher Medically reviewed by Medically reviewed by Steven Gans, MD on July 20, 2016 Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital. Learn about our Medical Review Board Steven Gans, MD Updated on January 16, 2020  KidStock/Blend Images/Getty Images More in Phobias Types Causes Symptoms and Diagnosis Treatment There is help for  thanatophobia, the fear of death. This phobia cuts across religious, social, and cultural boundaries, affecting people of all ages and backgrounds. But it can be disturbing for adults when the fear of death surfaces in children. We generally expect kids to be happy-go-lucky and fearless, and any phobia can be difficult for parents to address. When the fear is of death,  it can be particularly challenging to cope. Why Fear of Death Is Primal Fear The fear of death is common for children around the ages of six or seven. Researchers believe that children view death without all the trappings, religious beliefs, or defense mechanisms that adults have. Instead, children see death as a terrifying state of nothingness,  and they dont necessarily understand what causes it. Your child may view death as a fulfillment of their own subconscious wishes and desires. Kids also lack an adult concept of time, making it difficult to grasp the idea that someone can go away and then come back. When mommy is gone, as far as the child is concerned, she is dead. This leads to separation anxiety,  common in children between 8 and 14 months, and other fears that involve  being alone. The Role of Magical Thinking In an adult, magical thinking is a possible symptom of a psychological disorder. But magical thinking in children is a normal developmental process. Kids lack the experience and knowledge needed to perceive the world rationally. Instead, most children go through a phase of believing that their thoughts and wishes are all-powerful. This may be an effort to gain some control over the world around them, but fantasy is a double-edged sword. If the child thinks about someone dying, in his mind that alone  could kill that person. So kids develop rituals and superstitions designed to protect themselves from those wishes becoming a reality. How to Help a Child With Thanatophobia In most children, the fear of death will not become pathological. Most childhood fears are soon outgrown as kids gain maturity and begin to shift their focus to the here and now. However, your child may receive a thanatophobia diagnosis if her symptoms present for six months or more.? Your reaction as a parent or teacher can partially influence how long-lasting and severe the childs fear of death is. Many adults assume that kids have no real concept of death, so they avoid talking about it with their children. But kids tend to ask for information when they are ready for it. Healthy, child-led dialogue can help kids put death in perspective and minimize their feelings of responsibility for it. Seeking Therapy for Thanatophobia If your child displays a severe, life-limiting fear of death, or if the fear lasts for more than six months, seek professional guidance. Counseling is also recommended for children who experience a significant loss such as the death of a parent or close friend  or  witness a traumatic event such as a school shooting. Placing your child in therapy can trigger your insecurities or make you wonder if you somehow failed as a parent. In reality, phobias can develop for a seemingly endless number of reasons. Early intervention gives your child the best chances to fully combat the phobia and move on with his life.